WARNING:THIS IS A RANT.


I'm going to touch on the most cliche topic most girls bitch most about.

Friends.

I recall distinctly the essay I wrote in an examination a year ago about bimbotic female friends I had, criticising them more harshly than anyone else ever could. I did well.

My english only gets good when I'm agitated or pissed about something. Yeah. And I'm extremely judgemental, and I dislike things about others that even I do. So I'm a bitch. I don't really bother.

However, that isn't what I'm about to write about.

Friends come and go.

I don't know for most of you, but I felt particularly happy when I went to school, just thinking about studying in the same classroom with the bunch of jokers I've been with for 2 years and absolutely love with all my heart. I could wake up, feeling extremely enthusiastic about the lessons for the day. I was always looking forward to school.

(For those who don't know me well, I'm usually very grumpy when I just wake up. Take my blanket or bolster away, and I'll scream/shout at you until your eardrums burst. Literally.)

When all that disappears with time, I actually find myself dreading going to school.

The feeling of 'losing' your class sucks to the core.

I don't know how to describe it, but I feel as though a part of me is 'missing'. I feel vulnerable and weak, even, without my class. I feel lost.

I know some others who feel the same way.

After we were separated, the dreading-of-school came into place.

I felt as though I had lost my friends, my closest buddy and even my own personality. I feel tired and weak, without the support I used to have.

Now, as I walk past my previous classmates, some of us, who were previously considerably close, treat each other with hostility and the yeah-i-used-to-know-you-but-now-i-dont kind of look.

Frankly, I don't know whether to feel sad or pathetic.

Only now, do I realise how much I miss my previous class. As much as I had screamed at them during the skit rehearsals and pissed so many people off, I still miss them.

I miss all my teachers. I miss everyone in the class.

I even miss the bimbotic girls.

I'm pathetic.

I'm empty.

I'm pathetically empty.

And no. Not all of us adjust to our new environments as fast as others do.

I think the Sec 2 streaming system is cruel.

And I think many share my sentiments.

-draws circles of depression-

I really don't like it.

I really don't.