The top five things to do that would go wrong when you feel suicidal.
1) " Mommy, could you shoot me?"
2) Shoot yourself an inch from your heart.
3) Snort a fishball up your nose and suffocate.
4) Blow your head off while checking whether there's a bullet in the pistol.
5) Suddenly have the urge to pee.

I need Valerie here. -whines incessantly-

=.= oh geez. I'm feeling so un-humourous today.